Security for men seeking foreign wives
Vietnamese women
Marriage customs and traditions in Vietnam vary
between areas of the country and even between villages. Most of the
modern Vietnamese marriages have a blend of customs and ceremonies
between Western and traditional Vietnamese.
There is
typically four parts of the ceremony:
- The engagement ceremony
- The wedding ceremony at the
bride's house
- The reception
- The wedding ceremony at the groom's house
In Vietnam today, the marriage age may range from 18
to 22 for women and 22 to 25 for men. These figures rise to higher age
levels in the cities where the Western influence is felt. Child
marriages are not common in Vietnam today.
Rituals
Though many things have changed, the rituals have stayed more or less
the same in traditional marriages. A description of each of the
important rituals follows.
Presenting Gifts
This is
often called "the crossing of the girl’s housegate." It is a time when
the boy’s family brings the girl’s family gifts which must include a
bunch of betel leaves and areca nuts. Tea, cakes, and candies may also
be included. The day and hour must be exactly right by the horoscopic
calendar.
The procedure is usually quite formal with
everyone dressed in his best clothing. Led by a distinguished elder
member of the boy’s family, the family walks to the girl’s home. Boys
dressed in black with red sashes around their waists carry the gifts on
round red trays balanced on their heads. The bridegroom and the
intermediary or matchmaker are also present. The matchmaker will discuss
the gifts that the bridegroom will later present to the bride’s family.
Some still follow a formal marriage proposal . The couples notify their
families that they intend to get married. Technically, you do not get
married until you have approval from both families to do so. Your father
could cancel the whole thing if he does not approve of your boyfriend or
even if there are issues with his family that may not have anything to
do with him. If this goes well, the families formally meet during the
engagement to discuss the wedding plans. The engagement ceremony can be
a bigger event than the wedding itself. The ceremony starts at the
groom’s house. His family and himself parade through town with male
escorts who bring food, candies, etc. Your family will greet his family
while you are in your bedroom dressed in exquisite ao dai. The family
sits along a long table in accordance to family hierarchy. Elders of
both families make speeches. Afterwards, your boyfriend is told to get
you from your room, which formally means that you two are engaged.
Afterwards, food and drinks for everyone.
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